Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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