im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
