You can't motorboat a personality
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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