you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
