I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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