Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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