Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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