1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
