those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize