I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
false alarm, still single
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
