Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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