u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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