do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize