It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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