would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
