MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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