Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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