Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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