i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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