I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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