highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
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i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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