The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize