Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize