i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
