your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
