I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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