were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
