you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize