so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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