this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
