WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
