im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
