I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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