I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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