this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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