Whod you bang
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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