Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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