real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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