My first STD was from a foam party
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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