YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
