Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
