Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize