people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
