Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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