pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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