Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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