If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize