There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
