at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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