ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
