so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize