Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
handjob tips. give me some.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
