dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
