I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Rumble strips road head = magical
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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