he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
