i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
