i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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