fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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