im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
