is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
