Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I deserve this hangover.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
