just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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