Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
