I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
