i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
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Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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